The Glimmer Man

"Two good cops. One bad situation."

Seagal is featured in this one as police officer, Lt. Jack Cole. Cole is the mysterious new guy on the force in LA, fresh from NYC. No one seems to be able to find any trace of his past and he's into a lot of weird magic stuff. He moved out to LA to be closer to his kids who live with their mother and stepfather.
Coincidentally, when Cole arrives on the scene a serial murderer, known only as The Family Man, is on the loose. One thing people do seem to know is that back in NYC Cole had a run in with his commanding officer about what may or may not have been a bad shoot on a serial killer. Cole is partnered with Keenan Ivory Waynes, who isn't any happier about it than Seagal is. The first Family Man crime scene that Jack investigates doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the murders, even though it fits the M.O. almost perfectly. Jack suspects that it's maybe an elaborate copycat done by a pro. It didn't take Jack long to get on peoples nerves in LA. Him and Waynes report on scene to a school where a troubled young student has taken his classroom hostage and is threatening to kill himself. Seagal tackles the kid through one window and across and through a window to the next building over, saving his life. The kids rich daddy thanks Seagal but for some reason Seagal doesn't like him and so he acts like a dick to him. Later, the rich kids dad, Frank Deverell sends his security guy, Cunningham over to try to convince Jack to testify on the kids behalf. Seagal is visibly pissed off by this and tells Cunningham "Now get your ugly white ass outta here." Deverell isn't happy about this and so he pulls a few strings with his friends in the Russian mob and has them make a phony call in about the Family Man killings. Seagal and Waynes go to meet the supposed informant at an abandoned parking garage but quickly discover that it's an ambush and they are surrounded by Russian mobsters. Waynes tries to act tough and gets pistol whipped but Jack tells them he's gonna buy em off for twice what they're being paid. He asks if cash is alright, then pulls out his credit card and asks if they take plastic. Before anyone knows whats happening a knife pops out of the card and Seagal slashes three baddies' throats and then starts viciously beating another guy with a punch/block combo that lasts about 30 seconds before he kicks the dude off the parking garage and impales him on construction equipment. This doesn't solve Jack's problems though.
The next Family Man crime scene is his wife's house and her and her husband appear to have been killed by the same pro from the last murder. Worse yet, someone has planted Jack's prints on one of the bodies. Jack needs answers so he tries getting in touch with his old CIA mentor, Smith. When Smith refuses to get in touch with him, Seagal seeks him out. He goes to a really fancy restaurant where Smith is having a meeting and storms in, punching Smith's bodyguard through a window. He finally talks to Smith who is claiming ignorance of any pro good enough to pull these jobs off in the area. Seagal sees that talking to Smith isn't getting anywhere, but suspects foul play. Smith's bodyguard is pissed and tells Seagal, on his way out, that next time he sees him he'll kill him, even with Jack's magic and potions. Jack the responds "I have a potion in my pocket right now that will completely clear up that bruise on your forehead." Then he punches the guy out which begins a rampage of Seagal beating the shit out of a dozen or so bad guys and completely trashing the upscale eatery.
Soon, the cops find out who the real Family Man killer is and of course are completely off track as to where to find him. Seagal is smart though, and goes to the local church and kills him. It was a clean kill, but too much like the one from NYC that got Cole into so much trouble. Before he was killed the Family Man told Cole he had nothing to do with the last two murders. Meanwhile Deverell is pushing for Seagal to get fired and the planted print on his ex-wife isn't helping matters. Seagal's commanding officer takes him aside in a bathroom to tell him that he's suspended. Jack just looks at him, and asks him "which one of those did you just piss in?" and tosses his badge into the urinal the guy just peed in. At this point Seagal and Waynes have pretty much figured out that Deverell has been smuggling chemical weapons for the Russian mafia and that the last two "Family Man" murders were set-ups. Both witnesses, including his wife who was Deverell's kid's shrink. Deverell feared that his kid squealed about his misdoings and so Seagal's ex had to go. At the same time, Deverell is finding out about Cole. Deverell, who has been working with Smith, all along gets Smith to tell him whats going on. Smith reveals that Cole was his star agent known simply as the Glimmer Man. "There'd be nothin' but jungle, then a glimmer. Then you'd be dead." For obvious reasons the two are weary about Jack getting so close to blowing open their operation. They decide to cut off any loose ends. That meant killing Seagal, Waynes and Deverell's kid. Cunningham, who is the pro behind the copycat murders is sent over to take out Waynes, but Keenan narrowly escapes the explosion of his apartment. Meanwhile, two phony officers are sent to "arrest" Cole for the murder of his ex. They turn out to be professional killers and once Seagal notices this he goes to work. From the backseat of the car (two assassins in front) Seagal disarms the guy in the passenger seat and pistol whips him about 25 times until he is dead. Then he takes out the other guy and leaves to help Waynes protect Deverell's kid. From here the two set up Deverell, with some help from his kid, to be killed by Cunningham and then Seagal throws Cunningham out a window and lets him land so his jaw is impaled by a big spike.

Despite the really overcomplicated storyline, this is probably one of if not the baddest characters that Seagal has played. Just the pistol whipping scene alone earns this movie 2 extra ponytails. That's how bad ass it was. Also, at one point Seagal's character tells Waynes to put a powder under his tongue for his allergies, once Waynes complies Seagal reveals the powder to be powdered deer penis. The broken bone count was pretty average with 3 broken arms and a broken leg, I think Seagal only actually shot maybe 1 or two guys. All the action was hand to hand which made it that much better. This was definitely a 5 ponytail feature.

The Glimmer Man: 5 Ponytails