Welcome, everyone, to what is probably the most exciting Steven Seagal blog on the internet. Breaking Bones with Steven Seagal is a blog that will take you on the exciting journey of your favorite pony-tailed action hero's entire career as the biggest movie star on the planet. Over the next few weeks we will be viewing Seagal's entire collection of Academy Award caliber super-hits and breaking them down for you.
Here's how it works. First of all, we will watch any one of Seagal's masterpieces. Which movie is viewed by whom has already been predetermined, and the order of viewing is random. Once the movie is over, we will bring ourselves down as much as humanly possible to try to relieve ourselves from the high you get from watching a Seagal flick. Finally, we will report to you just how kick-ass the Seagal classic turned out.
Each movie will be rated by either Nate or Jay and Stu. Depending on how awesome a film was, it will get a rating of either 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 ponytails. Every film will have the opportunity to earn ponytails for stuff like the amount of broken arms credited to Seagal's character, the percentage of Seagal dialog that is whispered and Seagal's trademark action hero character names (ie. Mason Storm from Hard to Kill)- you get the point.
You already knew Seagal was a martial arts, Hollywood super genius, but this is your chance to learn just how close to being God he really is. In the words of the master himself, "les doit."
No comments:
Post a Comment