Submerged

"Underwater, Undercover."

In Submerged, Steven Seagal plays mercenary, Chris Cody. Cody and his team have been in prison for years after breaking protocol on a prior mission. When terrorists gain the ability to brainwash even a secret service agent into assassination Cody's gang are the only ones good enough to catch em. The only problem is, no one tells these guys they're dealing with brainwashers. It doesn't take these mercenaries long to come up with a plan and so they immediately overrun the terrorists brainwashing lair and start freeing prisoners. Little did they know the prisoners they were saving were more dangerous than the 50-60 terrorists +1 tank that 5 of them mowed down like it was D-day. From here they get into a stolen submarine. It takes all of about 10 minutes of the movie for them to figure out that they have brainwash victims, who's responsible for giving the terrorists the technology, get overrun by the brainwashed guys, kill all of the brainwashed guys and get the submarine blown up by a patriot missile, escaping narrowly. Now they go to Uruguay to take out the company that is paying an evil doctor to brainwash people into assassination. Throughout the rest there are a lot of boring parts involving capture and killing brainwashed dudes until it all finally comes to a head at an opera where the crew has to rescue the Uruguayan president from assassination. Once that is done, Seagal goes back to kill the evil doctor which he does easily. Then the survivors all go out to dinner with Cody and they have a good laugh over the whole ordeal.

One thing that this movie did have going was some of the priceless Seagal banter:
While fighting one of the two guys in the entire movie that he actually gets physical with, Seagal for some reason screams "COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!"
When Cody has to convince his team to come with him he says "Look, it's easy, you know. You could come with me, we do it right. We get out, we're free. Or you could stay in jail and get romantic with your boyfriend."
And at the end when they're all out to dinner Seagal looks at some of the food and says "that doesn't look so good, that looks like rabbit poop."

Unfortunately this movie, as mentioned only featured two fight scenes with Seagal, and they were both just lame henchmen and were disposed of easily. Seagal basically just played coach to his crew of misfits and didn't do hardly anything. Seagal raised his voice way too much also and he didn't even break any bones except maybe a guys nose. Also, as previously mentioned the movie is called Submerged and they're only in a submarine for about 10-15 minutes of the movie and probably only submerged for like 5 minutes. This is probably Seagal's worst movie ever. Ever.

Submerged: 1 Ponytail